[05 Septembre 2012] Yar! Stand and Deliver by Mike

Mike a écrit:

Nay, this palaver has naught to do those black-heated bilge rats seeking digital booty (though I spit bile in their direction). Today 'tis we who are flying the Jolly Rodger and raiding the digital seas!

Our website, you see, is getting old and dated. A few weeks ago I started what I thought would be a quick "paint and spit-polish" makeover. Nothing too radical, just freshening up the scenery and changing the drapes. Like most of my projects, however, scope creep has set in, and now it's being rebuilt down to the rickety underpinnings.

So what does this have to with pirates? Hah! The internet is a vast sea of designs and lovingly-crafted widgets. Since I'm strictly third-rate as a designer, my best work would appear as pale and uninspired next to the true masters of the craft. Fortunately, I have a secret weapon: copy and paste.

Oh, it's true that, applied carelessly, these tools would land me in court. Fear not, I'll license any images and steer well clear of the shoals of copyright infringement. Still, I've been scouring the internet looking at authors' sites, and looting them for ideas. My notebook is brimming with stolen genius. So, heave-to you mavens of excellence, and prepare to be pillaged. I leave you with a jaunty wave of my hat and a hearty “Yo Ho!” as payment.

Seriously, I'm feeling a little daft. I can program in a dozen or so languages, but my PHP skills are laughable. I haven't kept up on recent developments in web technology, and I'm badly outdated. My desk is currently covered with reference books on PHP, CSS, HTML and related technologies, and I'm taking baby-steps towards the redesign. Every time I do a page mock-up, I'm reminded of why, despite being an old computer nerd, nobody ever wanted me working on user interfaces. I like monochrome; it saves me from learning the color wheel. And what do you mean there's fonts other than Arial and Helvetica? Sigh.

The site redesign is coming slowly while my aging brain tries to absorb a few thousand pages of reference material. Hmmmpfh. I could swear this used to be easier. You silly kids and your blasted computers, always changing the way things are done. Progress is overrated — now get off my lawn!

I know I said this wasn't a post on piracy, but here's a rousing shanty (with permission, naturally).

Citation :

The Digital Pirate

I don't have an eye patch, a hook or a parrot,
I'm a scoundrel, a rogue with no morals or merit.
I wield neither cutlass nor sword, nor a dagger,
but I'm a villain for sure, you can tell by my swagger!

I don't have a ship, I don't know how to sail,
and at trussing the yards most surely I'd fail.
My swash lost it's buckle, and I'm not long on beauty
but I'm a sure-enough pirate who'll plunder your booty!

Chorus
Yo- Ho, I'm a pirate on the digital sea,
I'll plunder your goods, and I'll take them for free
Movies and software, books or a song,
Stand and deliver, it's mine right or wrong!

The “Bucket o Blood” I have dubbed my computer,
it's got a lighting fast drives 'cause I'm a lightning-fast looter
with a broadband connection so fast and so free
You've not seen a pirate 'till you've seen one like me!

I've the latest of software and my processor screams
the “Bucket o' Blood” is the stuff of your dreams,
It's eight thousand dollars of the best you can buy,
but I can't pay for content; the price it too high!

-- Anonymous --

Source : http://www.hurog.com/

Traduction à venir.

C'est ce que j'ai compris aussi en lisant rapidement ^^ Apparemment il s'inspirerait de ce qu'il trouve sur le net d'où les références aux pirates x)
Je sais pas si j'aurais le temps de traduire aujourd'hui le lundi c'est une grosse journée au boulot XD

Mais noooooooon ! C'est parce qu'il "pille" les idées des gens sur le net pour changer le design xD Il pirate leur travail.
C'est mieux la référence comme ça ? MDR

J'peux pas te bannir parce que tu comprends rien, ce serait discriminatoire :p

Je te rassure j'comprends pas toujours ses délires non plus ! mdr

Bonjour Mike, mari de Patricia Briggs, on te bannit de notre forum sur lequel tu n'es pas inscrit parce qu'on comprend pas toujours tes délires. Cordialement les membres du forum Mercy-Thomson.bb-fr.com.

Oui j'suis sûre que ça va le faire XD

Non même bien traduit ça passera pas Dii' xD

Pauvre Mike mdr

Bah pour l'instant il semble que ça lui réussisse pas trop mal mdr